Rob Roy: The Pirate of Manhattan

The Rob Roy is a seriously underrated beverage. Though it is incredibly simple to produce, many bartenders will often meet your request with either a blank stare, or an evil eye. This is why you must be armed at all times with the basic recipe, and the ability to articulate it. 

2 parts scotch whiskey

1 part sweet vermouth

Though the default preparation for this drink is to stir, I generally prefer my Rob Roy's shaken, and "up," in a chilled cocktail glass. I find that the extra water and coldness finishes the drink correctly. You can also drink it on the rocks, but certainly its character will be altered as the ice melts. 

If you happen to be at a party with your less sophisticated hipster friends, with no access to basic bartending tools, there are other options:

Option 1: Build the drink in a large glass with a lot of ice, use whatever is available to stir for at least ten revolutions, then strain into another glass (preferably one that actually looks good) with a spoon.

Option 2: Use an empty glass jar to build the drink, stir it a bit, and leave it on the rocks. There is no special purpose for using a jar. Drinking out of a jar is just fun/badass. 

I know what you're thinking now. You're thinking, "Dude, what kind of scotch should I use?" Or maybe you're thinking, "What bro? I thought scotch was for old dudes. And isn't it expensive?" In either or both cases, I've got your answer. 

There is no need to go all out on your scotch. You don't owe Scotland any loyalty on your selection either. I go with the every day, mid-grade, Johnny Walker Red Label. Most bars and liquor stores have this smooth blend available. 

And remember: you're not drinking a Rob Roy because its cool (its not), or because its expensive (though it certainly can be). You're drinking a Rob Roy because its good.